| The News Lampoon | News Lampoon Person of the Year |
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Michael Vick
Congratulations, Michael Vick, because you are the News Lampoon 2010 Person of the Year! Way to go, dawg!
What other folks are saying: "If only our economy would recover like Mike has!"--President Barack Obama "The perfect choice for Person of the Year. The News Lampoon really scored a touchdown on this one!"--Jeffrey Dahmer's Ghost "A real Hail Mary!"--Pope Benedict XVI "Mike's my man! Real smart for a, you know, black dude."--Charles Manson "Better him than myself!"--LeBron James "Why not me?"--Sarah Palin "There really are no limits to what the public will let you get away with in America!"--Dancing with the Stars finalist Bristol Palin "It's the right thing to do."--NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell |
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Not
only has Vick become one of the hottest quarterbacks in the NFL, but he is
the poster boy of animal haters everywhere! Look at him! He's
out making millions again, scoring touchdowns, signing autographs, and is even talking about getting a new dog
(preferably a beagle) to rape, stab, electrocute, strangle, drown, hang,
bludgeon, or shoot! Or maybe all of the above! Talk about
making a comeback! Who knows,
maybe in a year or two he'll even be able to open another "kennel"!
He's already had his own reality show! Michael proves like few
others have that there really are no limits in America!