| News Lampoon | Wolfson joins FOX! | |||
| Some call
it a strange hybrid; I call it love at first bite By Ariel Trebuchet, News Lampoon columnist
July 8, 2008, New York--It's been consummated and could begin to show this week. The pairing of former Hillary Clinton campaign strategist Howard Wolfson with the FOX News Channel seems a strange one at first glance but might bear interesting fruit. I first heard about the possible marriage a few weeks ago when I caught up with a panting FOX News staffer humping his gear down an alley off Spring Street in New York City. "I guess they're really hot for him," the staffer said. The words made me quiver with excitement, but I was skeptical because what he had told me seemed unnatural, almost taboo. I knew I had to be careful. "I'll return the favor when this is confirmed," I said. "C'mon! Stop teasing," the staffer pleaded. "I really need it now!" He'd never let me down before, so after a little more probing, I decided to chance it, even though the thought of giving it to him in that filthy alley made my skin crawl. "What are you doing?" I asked as he reached into his duffel. He pulled out a raincoat. "Better safe than sorry," he said. I looked up at the shaft of grey sky above us and thought: I just hope I don't get too wet. "Alright," I said. "Let's get this over with before it starts to pour." The story was confirmed late last night on "The Caucus," the New York Times politics blog. So Howard Wolfson and Karl Rove will be mated on FOX. Rove may get a little testy at times, Wolfson a little bitchy. Which of these alpha types will dominate? You can bet that neither will go down without a fight. Who will come out on top? My guess is that there will be a lot of switching of roles because both of these men are open-minded and seem willing to try new things, though neither Rove nor Wolfson will willingly submit to the role of lapdog for long. |
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